mindlessadri | Entries tagged with fftl

Rating: PG-13 ish for some brief questionable kissing
Warnings: adolescent stupidity and the struggle of trying to understand sexuality
AN: Kurogane and Fai are both in their first year of high school. While childhood friends a numerous amount of things are pulling them apart. Is this the last straw? An adolescent party, a laundry room, and a moonlit bench?

“Did you say tongue?” Kurogane knit his eyebrows together in disgust as his sister just stared forward, driving.

Yuuko bit back her laughter and shook her head 'yes'.

“That is so gross. Why would anybody want a tongue in their mouth?”

Yuuko shrugged, “That's just how you do it. You lean in, smoosh your mouths together, and jam your tongue in the other person's mouth before they know what hit them!”

Kurogane scowled, and Yuuko couldn't help but cackle. “Don't worry about it. You don't have the balls to kiss somebody at this party anyway."

“Hey I have plenty of,” Goddammit! Just cuss already will you?! You're fourteen in high school and on the JV Swim Team! But Kurogane couldn't cuss because the thought of disappointment on his mother's face was enough to stop him. She was tired and sick enough as it was and he didn't feel the desire to add to the stress. “Just shut up. If I wanted to kiss somebody I would,” he mumbled. Kurogane hardly ever mumbled but his sister had that effect on him.

Yuuko chuckled and the car was silent for a moment save for the radio. “You could be a little nicer to me you know,” she pouted with no real intent at making Kurogane guilty and he had spent enough time with his sister to recognize she was just being dramatic and talking to talk. On the other hand she would say she was talking to discover.

“And why would I do that, Witch,” Kurogane added the 'insult' as more of an afterthought.

His sister slowed for a stop sign and sighed as she thought the sign was completely useless out her the in back woods, “Well I did have to use gas to drive you to this party.”

At this Kurogane frowned. “You're doing it as a favor for mom. You don't really care.”

“Are you upset her and dad aren't taking you?”

He didn't respond.

“Because it would be okay.”

“I'm not upset!” He fixed his stare out the window. “They should have taken me with them.”

Yuuko reached over and ruffled her brother's hair to which he swatted her hand away in annoyance. “Brat, you've been so good these past couple of months and mom and dad see that. You help by cleaning, and taking care of the chores while dad is at work and mom really appreciates you taking up her knitting for the season.” Kurogane stared pointedly at her, “Which I will never mention to anybody especially, and I quote 'the Idiot'. But my point is they also see what you're giving up. How many swimming practices have you missed? When's the last time you and Fai did stuff together? Hell when is the last time you even talked to him?”

It was silent again and the trees of the landscape swished past as Yuuko headed over the familiar road into the town where the party was. “I haven't missed that many practices,” was all Kurogane could mumble.

“And what about Fai?”

Kurogane could feel his ears warm but either Yuuko had missed it or was uncharacteristically ignoring it. “Things are awkward.”

Yuuko rolled her eyes. “How so? What could be so awkward that you would stop talking to your best friend.”

Kurogane was slowly becoming more irritated, “Okay. One: I didn't stop talking to him we just grew up, we have different friends now. I go to practice -”

“You stay home.”

He scowled but his sister hardly seemed to notice. “I go to practice and he has I guess stage practice? I don't know what they call it.”

“Rehearsal.”

“Yeah that! Anyway we still eat lunch together and we're lab partners and we have PE together, again.”

Yuuko made some sort of affirmative noise. “But that doesn't tell me why it 'awkward'”

Kurogane fixed his gaze out the window again. “He started growing his hair out. He looks like girl.” It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact Kurogane thought Fai was even more attractive with long hair. And Fai wasn't even attractive! Lean, tall, pale, gorgeous! Not his type. And then Kurogane's thoughts caught up with him and he groaned.

“That's dumb and you know it. Anyway, my point is that mom and dad don't want you to grow up too fast. They want you to go out with your friends, kiss people, get in trouble and all that jazz. In fact if there is alcohol at this party and you got drunk I wouldn't even tell them you got wasted!”

“I'm not drinking at the party Yuuko. Besides we're just freshmen.”

“Huh. I forget because you're so freakishly tall.”

The rest of the ride was a borderline friendly and hostile, typical for any pair of siblings. And when they pulled up to the house and Kurogane went to unbuckle his seat belt Yuuko put a hand on his shoulder. “Have fun tonight, Brat.”

He knew what she was trying to say: don't worry.

Regardless he scowled, “Whatever.”

With that Yuuko smiled and called out after him, “Call me when you're ready for me to pick you up!”

The party was being held at a girls house for her fifteenth birthday, at least that's what his invitation had said. Personally he didn't know the girl but everybody on the swim team had been invited so at least he knew people. He had every intention of standing awkwardly with his teammates as they discussed which girls were developing faster and which ones they would bang but Fai caught his eye.

He was standing with another theatre student he’d seen him around with by the punch talking and sipping juice. He made his way over there and planted himself squarely in front of Fai. “Hey.” It was as good a line as any, right?

“Hey!” Fai lit up. “I didn't know you were coming. I thought you said something like 'I'm a big Kuro-grump and I don't like to socialize with anybody,'” he ended his impersonation with a growl.

“Tch. I don't sound like that you Idiot.”

“Sure you do Kuro-bear. Anyway, I really didn't think you were coming.”

“I didn't think I was either. I was going to go into the city with my parents overnight but then my mom found the invitation in my jeans and....” He stopped to observe that Fai was shifting his eyes to the left and that's when he remembered there was another person there.

The girl laughed a little uncertainly. Fai smiled sweetly and put his arm around her in such a natural motion Kurogane was sure it was practiced, “Sakura. Why don't you go find Syaoran.”

The girl nodded politely and excused herself.

“Okay you were saying.”

Kurogane snapped back to the present. He had been momentarily lost in his thoughts of not-jealousy. “Oh, right. Anyway, my mom found the invitation in my pocket while doing laundry which I told her I could do myself but she doesn't listen to me. She's so hard-headed sometimes!”

“Hmm, reminds me of somebody else I know.”

Kurogane's face went sour, “I'm not 'hard-headed.”

A smile spread across Fai's face and that, along with the way Fai's hair framed his face, was enough to make Kurogane scowl harder. “Remember when we got lost in the woods when we were nine? And I said, 'Oh! Kuro-pon,'” Fai flung himself against Kurogane with thespian vigor, “'I believe we're lost! We should stay put like they say to do in school!' But what did you say? Oh yes I believe it was something like , 'No! I'm Kuro-warrior! I've lived in these woods my whole life I know where we are!' And then it got dark and we reached the river which is in the complete opposite direction of both our houses... by seven miles!”

“That's completely different from my mother!”

“Kuro-wrong they had to take out the quads and the search dogs to find us!”

Now Kurogane was frowning because he was sulking but regardless he wasn't finished with his story. “Whatever. Let me finish. She found the invitation and then she asked my dad about it and he didn't know anything because I didn't plan on coming because they were going to the city. They couldn't let it go though and we had a discussion about it in which my mom cried because she somehow got it in her head that she's letting me grow up too fast and take on too much responsibility. So of course I had to go because..... because I couldn't just let my mom cry over something so stupid.”

Fai took a moment to mull this over and finished off his glass. “Are you mad?”

“No. I just wish I could be there in case they need me.”

Fai rested his hand on Kurogane's shoulder and Kurogane tried to deny the incessant fluttering in his stomach by grabbing something to eat off the table with the punch bowl. “She's going to do fine without you there. Your dad's with her, right?”

The words weren't necessarily eloquent but they did comfort him and he nodded in the affirmative. There was a short lull in conversation, “How is she anyway?”

“The doctors still don't know what's wrong according to her. But I think she knows more than she's letting on. She's going to the city for some tests I guess.”

Fai came closer and wrapped Kurogane in a hug that made him want to melt. It was comforting and familiar and long. Too long. Fai lingered more than Kurogane had learned was actually appropriate for a male relationship and his mind went flying. Then Fai did let go and he was left no longer thinking about his familial situation but about how soft Fai's hair was against his cheek.

So maybe he had known for a long time. That didn't mean he had to admit it. Maybe he had known he couldn't just see Fai as a friend for a while. Maybe he had realized he didn't like girls a year or so ago. But perhaps he had also realized he couldn't tell Fai that without ruining their friendship. And his friendship was much more valuable.

Then again Fai did look really good tonight.

It was time for a subject change, “Your hair is getting long.”

“I know.”

Kurogane folded his arms over his chest. “Are you going to cut it?”

“I don't know.”

“Makes you look like a girl.”

Fai smirked smartly at him, “Maybe some girls are into that.”

“Tch. No girls are-” Kurogane stopped himself and analyzed Fai. “What do you mean by that?”

The other tucked some hair behind his ear, “I'm just saying maybe there is a girl who likes my hair.”

Kurogane frowned. He did not like this conversation anymore than the last. In fact he knew for a fact he liked it less. “Which girl?”

“Just some girl in my theatre class. You wouldn’t know her.” Fai got a wicked gleam in his eye and put a finger to his mouth in thought. “On the other hand, perhaps I should cut it just so I don’t get mistaken for a girl, thrown to the ground, and kissed.” Fai hummed his contemplation, “Thoughts, Kuro-hiney?”

Kurogane felt his face heat up in embarrassment. Fai didn’t often bring up the incident from when they were children and as far as he knew they were the only two privy to the fact it had even occurred. “How many times do I have to tell you I thought you were a girl?” Kurogane ground the words out under his breath.

Fai laughed openly at Kurogane’s embarrassment and clapped his friend on the shoulder. “I’m going to go find Sakura. Want to come?”

Yes he wanted to go with Fai but being around his friend was becoming emotionally unbearable. As if the universe was trying to help him for once Kurogane heard his name called from behind him and one of his teammates appeared sporting a large grin and a muddy face. “Kurogane you gotta’ come watch this. Carter is going to try and jump this huge mud puddle outside.”

He turned back to Fai who was looking at his with patience. “I’m going to, um-”

“Yeah. No problem. I’ll see you later right?”

“Yeah,” Kurogane replied stupidly as his teammate pulled him towards the deck outside.

Outside most of the swim team had gathered to watch the spectacle. It wasn’t that Kurogane was particularly interested in watching guys jump mud puddles it was that he needed room to breathe. Fai’s presence was stifling, made him want to crawl out of his skin and hide in his bed with a box of tissues for both the overwhelming emotion and the, well, “overwhelming emotion”.

His internal dialogue when he was around Fai often went, “I’m not gay. You are so gay. No I’m not. You know you are. Why can’t you just say it? Because, I don’t want to yet. So when? I-I don’t know! Maybe I just haven’t found the right girl yet. I mean I could still like girls. This hurts. I just want to - Want to what? Kiss him? I just want -” And that was mostly why being around Fai was irritating, uncomfortable, fulfilling, and difficult.

Thinking back to the conversation he’d had with his sister in the car maybe it was his fault

that him and Fai weren’t hanging out as much despite his mother’s illness. They were drifting apart; he knew it and it hurt.

The sun was beginning to make it’s final descent in the sky as it fell behind the trees of the surrounding forrest and the air was rapidly beginning to chill as the breeze carried the ocean’s coolness inwards. He’d been lazily wearing his jacket around his hips and he moved to put it on when he saw Fai come out the side of the house and slowly pick his way to the edge of the woods.

He went to move after Fai when a girl emerged from the back door calling the few people who had wandered outside back in. He would have gone after Fai if the swim team hadn’t been so adamant about going inside. It seemed that the twenty or so kids that were there had packed themselves into the livingroom and part of the dining room. Some of them looked around nervously like they weren’t sure what was going on or thought they were about to be inducted into a cult. Kurogane felt like the first and probably looked like the later. Yet, there were other people who smiled secretly and to be honest it creeped Kurogane the fuck out.

Another girl he didn’t recognize sprang forward with a small notepad and pen in hand. “What’s your name?” She began asking the people who had come in from outside and writing down their response. “Okay you’re the last one,” she said when she stepped in front of Kurogane. He stared at her dumbly causing him to look away from her pad and over her no-rim glasses to him, “Name?”

“Kurogane,” he stated with an upward inflection of reserve.

She scribbled quickly on her pad, “Hope I spelled that right.” She retreated back towards a group around the coffee table they began dividing the papers into two hats. The air grew thick with anticipation and around him his teammates were grinning and punching each other in the shoulder for encouragement.

The party’s host stood up in the coffee table her light blue dress swishing about her knees. “Alright! Since this is my party I’m going to draw two names first and after that we’ll have the couple from the previous round draw.” She bent and picked up the first hat and sifted through it’s contents before drawing. “Claret.”

A rather well endowed girl came forward a warm, an inviting and eager smile on her face. She was pudgy but even Kurogane could see that she was still rather cute with her wide hips, ample cleavage, and pretty face. She grabbed her wrist behind her back and rocked back and forth on her feet as she waited.

The host was handed another hat and she repeated the process. Kurogane felt oddly nervous as she unfolded the paper and stared quizzically at it. Her mouth looked like it was about say something a few times before stopping. “I’m sorry,” she finally spoke, “Kuro-something? I can’t make out the rest.”

Suddenly his teammates were pushing him forward to the center of the living room cheering like a bunch of idiots. Kurogane tried to scowl at them but he found himself face to face (more like her face to his chest) with Claret who quickly disarmed him with a smile. People giggled around them and the host, whose name he still didn’t know, smiled toothily. “Well go on now,” she said motioning to the door behind her.

Claret took him by the hand and determinedly pulled him behind her into the laundry room. The door clicked shut behind them and Kurogane heard someone shout, “The next drawing will be in seven minutes!”

Out of nowhere Claret sprang herself forward backing Kurogane into the second door at the opposite end of the small, narrow room. She pulled at his shirt as she pressed herself against him. Kurogane had no idea what to do with his hands so he pressed them flat against the door behind him and resisted picking at the peeling paint. “Don’t be nervous,” she said inching closer to his face. He felt her hand find his and draw it to her hip. Her perfectly glossed lips gleamed in the moonlight coming in through the door’s window and then her lips were on his pressing hard as if trying to encourage him. Kurogane’s mind was racing a million miles a minute. He wasn’t sure how he had gotten himself in this situation and he truly wondered if he could have stopped it. Then he thought that this might be his chance to prove himself wrong. He closed his eyes, pushed his lips experimentally against hers, and willingly brought his other hand to the small of her back to draw her closer.

She was small and soft against him; her breasts pressed against his chest and it felt wrong. All of it - all of felt wrong. Kurogane wrenched away from her causing her to stumble back. Kurogane’s hand went to his mouth as he tried to wipe the sticky gloss from his lips.

It suddenly occurred to him that Claret was still in the room. Whatever confusion he felt must have been evident on his face because he didn’t see disappointment or rejection on her’s but pity and concern. “What’s wrong?” She ventured taking a tentative step towards him. “Don’t like me?”

Well that was one way to make him feel like an asshole. “No! I mean no, I hardly know you. How am I supposed to know if I like you?” Kurogane looked at his mud splattered shoes.

Claret crept closer and peered up at his downturned face with her wrist clasped behind her back. “Like someone else?”

“No!” Kurogane said quickly, too quickly and a blush appeared across his cheeks.

Claret laughed lightly, ‘What? Like boys?”

If speaking too quickly last time had been a mistake not saying anything this time was an even bigger one. Claret’s eyes widened and her lips made a perfect circle, “Oh.” The air between the grew thick as she contemplated.

Kurogane berated himself for not denying it. For not saying anything and letting the tension grow. “That was my first time. Sorry.”

“Your first time with a lot of things should be with someone special sorry I took that away from you.” She wiped her lips and suddenly tapped his. “There. I give it back. Your first kiss.”

He looked up quickly and touched his lips. “I-I like girls.”

Claret sighed slowly. “So do I.”

“Wait what?”

“Most of the time I do. I guess the best way to put it would be that I like people but I have more appreciation for a woman.” She smiled reassuringly at him. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell. I’m leaving in a few days anyway.”

“You’re not a student at the high school?” Kurogane said with a relieved sigh.

She shook her head. “No. Just visiting family. It’s my cousins birthday.” The room fell silent after that. “So what should we do?”

“What do you mean?”

Claret sat against the washer and pulled her knees in. “I mean that the guys are going to be expecting you to come back with messed up hair and a stupid grin. I could help you mess up your hair.” Kurogane just stared at her. “Or we could go out the back and go back separately. Say we were too embarrassed to come back together.”

“I like that idea better.” Quietly the two of them went out the side door. They walked around the perimeter of the house towards the front steps. Kurogane looked off towards the woods where Fai had gone. The temperature had dropped pretty significantly and that idiot probably hadn’t taken a jacket. “Hey do you mind if I-” he trailed off looking towards the woods.

“Like nature that much?”

“No. Just need to walk for a bit.”

A small smile played on Claret’s full lips, “I’ll cover for you.”

Kurogane walked off to the part of the woods Fai had went towards earlier. There was a small beaten path lined with head sized rocks where Fai had gone and about ten feet into the woods a small rock-lined circle big enough to fit a stone bench big enough for three yet comfortable enough for only two. Fai was laying across the bench looking up towards the canopy with his arms inside his shirt.

“You could have warned me you idiot,” Kurogane said approaching.

Fai jumped a little and sat up to acknowledge Kurogane which wasn’t easy considering he had no arms. “Might have gotten caught had I gone back for you. Besides looks like you escaped.”

Kurogane scowled and plopped down at the far end of the bench. He looked at Fai out of the corner of his eye. The blond was as skinny as ever but he was solid, Kurogane knew from the many stolen glances in the locker room, and the simple white v-neck shirt Fai was wearing exposed just enough of Fai’s chest to assure Kurogane there would be nothing soft about it.

It was awkward definitely awkward when he sat next to Fai; though maybe it was only awkward for him because Fai seemed to be totally at ease. The blond broke the silence, “So did you go in the closet?” Kurogane could hear Fai’s teeth chatter as he spoke.

“Wasn’t a closet,” Kurogane mumbled in response. Fai raised an eyebrow, “It was the laundry room.”

“Oh.” Fai wrapped his arms tighter around himself. “Don’t you think you’re a little dense for not figuring it out?”

“I was the first person I didn’t have time to figure it out.”

It was silent between them again as Fai dug his shoe into the soft, damp dirt. “How was it?”

Kurogane stuttered over his words, “It wasn’t anything special.”

“So you’ve done it before?” Maybe Kurogane had sounded more nonchalant than he thought.

“N-no! Of course not!” Kurogane defended himself. He could feel Fai smiling at him the way he did when he found Kurogane amusing. “Not before tonight anyway,” he mumbled and Fai’s smile dropped.

Fai stopped digging the in the dirt to plant his feet firmly on the ground and pulled his arms out of his shirt. He seemed to contemplate what Kurogane had said for a moment before asking, “Are you okay with it?”

“She gave it back to me,” Kurogane said without really thinking about what Fai had asked.

“She gave it back?”

Kurogane rubbed his neck, “Well, yeah. She kind of wiped her lips and then tapped mine.”

Fai blinked at him, something like relief flashing it his eyes. “That is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard of.”

“Well it’s true!” He grunted under his breath, “She said I should have my real first time with somebody special.”

“Somebody special?” Fai repeated slowly.

Kurogane snapped his head to Fai to properly look at the other boy. He gulped and suddenly felt hot. “Yeah somebody special.” Kurogane inched closer to Fai, his muscles seeming to react on instinct rather than conscious command.

Fai froze suddenly aware of the closing space between them. His hands tightened on the edge of the bench as Kurogane leaned in puckered lips meeting his.

His heart was thumping in his chest as Kurogane realized too late that he had no idea what he was doing. He noticed Fai’s lips were soft against his chapped ones as he raised his hand to gently touch Fai’s jawline. Fai’s lips pressed back tightly against his own and Yuuko’s words flashed in his mind. His hand went to Fai’s hair and he licked Fai’s lips before pushing his tongue into the blond’s mouth. Fai’s gasp filled Kurogane’s mouth as he pressed forth.

Reality came at him suddenly when Fai beat his fist against Kurogane’s chest hard enough to get him to stop. Fai stared at him wide eyed for a second before turning away and clapping a hand over his mouth.

“Why did you do that?” Fai demanded as an edge crept into his voice.

Kurogane’s blood went cold in his veins as he begged the universe to obliterate him. “I thought you wanted me to-” he mumbled unintelligently.

Fai gawked at him and he stood up thoroughly offended. “What made you think that?!”

“You-you looked happy that she gave it back and you weren’t happy that I got kissed!”

“Of course I would be because you’re my friend and something had happened to you that you didn’t want!” Fai was shaking with anger. “Are-are you gay?”

“I - I don’t - I don’t -” Kurogane swallowed the lump in his throat. Why was saying it so hard? “No. No, I’m not.”

Fai pulled at his hair, “I don’t look like a girl anymore, Kurogane.”

“I know.”

Fai rubbed his eyes and sniffled as he tried to repress whatever emotion was creeping up on him. “That was my first time, too.” Fai mumbled, his voice suddenly numb.

Fai disappeared in the darkness as he went back towards the house. Kurogane was left sitting on the bench as he mumbled how sorry he actually was.

Part I
Interlude I
Part II
Interlude II
Part III
Interlude III
Conclusion

Current Mood: cold
Current Music: Lorde

Rating: PG
Warnings: none
AN: This fic was written so each part can operate independently of each other for the most part. The 'Interludes' are meant to sort of bridge the gaps in time but otherwise are probably unimportant.

The kiss was forgotten and Fai's hair fixed. Their relationship didn't stay the same though. Kurogane never fully recovered from the embarrassment brought on by his first rejection but he couldn't bring himself to let Fai go either. He started becoming easily embarrassed, which translated to irritation. He was especially irritated by Fai and the blond took full advantage of it by coming up with ridiculous nicknames like Kuro-blush and Kuro-warrior. That's how their relationship became; a game of irritate and chase. Sometimes Fai would think that Kurogane really was done with him and Kurogane wouldn't see him for days on end. After enough sulking on his couch Kurogane would stomp through the woods to Fai's back door, pull the blond outside, and call him an idiot.

Fai also became an integrated part of the family, especially over the first summer. Though it was unknown to Kurogane, Fai's mom worked in the city and he was often left alone with his questionable step-dad. Fai's step-father wasn't physically abusive so much as he was mentally; he would constantly yell and scream at the slightest peak in his stress level. Fai's mother rarely came home from the city where she worked and so Kurogane's mother Tsumebe became a surrogate for the growing child. They would both snuggle at her sides while watching a movie and each hold a hand when they walked in town. And while they were young Kurogane could justify the way he felt towards Fai as brotherly: he wanted to protect him.

Elementary school passed without incident. When Fai finally started going during third grade, before he had been home schooled by a tutor because his mother had feared him entering a new school in the middle of the year, he became very popular very quickly and Kurogane experienced the same explosion of popularity by default. He became the scary friend in the background that glared death at you if you overstayed what he felt was your welcome. It's not as if they didn't have individual friends of their own it's just that the majority of their friends were mutual and neutral. Neutral in that they had no real strong affinity towards them. Sure each boy had people they liked more than others but they were attached at the hip for the most part. Nobody surpassed their best friend and they had the luck of being in the same class for both third and fourth grade.

Fifth grade was the year they got split up into different classes and what Kurogane's mom came to call the 'growing year'. Him and Fai had to grow into separate personalities instead of relying on the comfort of having each other. Instead of being known as Kurogane and Fai they had to individualize. Fai soon found a place in his class and quickly became recognized as charismatic and humorously dramatic. Kurogane found he more than excelled in sports: he dominated. While their new labels did little to soil their relationship in private they found they didn't need each other as much in public even when they secretly wished the other was there.

Middle school brought no relief. Six classes a day, only one together in their sixth grade year: PE. That was the first time Kurogane consciously realized he was different. He'd never really seen Fai with his shirt off, not even when they went to the local swimming pool or the nearby lake (Fai burned easily). Perhaps he had thought he might be different before this point but, hell, girls were hardly important to him while playing dodgeball... unless they were on his team then he cared. But middle school brought with it hormones; girls got boobs and the boys stared wide eyed wondering when girls became attractive. Well all except Kurogane it seemed and Fai to some extent. Fai more or less seemed uninterested in girl or boys for that matter. He would occasionally comment that a girl was pretty, much to Kurogane's contempt, and he would always reply politely when random females came to talk to him while blushing and stuttering like mad.

The friends they had made started talking about girls and giving each other horrible sexual advice. Sex became a regular topic even though not one of them had actual experience, though they feigned knowledge on the subject. Kurogane pretended to be interested in boobs. He was actually interested in the way Fai's cheeks dusted pink right along his cheek bones when the girls started staring at him. Fai stopped blushing once his own hormones started to catch up with him late in the seventh grade and instead he would flash his million watt smile that would throw the girls into a frenzy of giggles. Though even then it seemed Fai was doing it more to be polite than to actually show interest. Even so when that happened Kurogane found himself scowling more deeply than usual and he became more interested in the way Fai's hair framed his face and he thanked the divines more than once for bringing the v-neck back. He was too young to know that he wouldn't eventually grow past his preference for boys and actually be able to mean it when he called a girl cute.
But he convinced himself he would.

Part I
Interlude I
Part II
Interlude II
Part III
Interlude III
Conclusion

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Lorde

Happy belated birthday Xia! I'm sorry it's not done and to be honest it'll probably be a WIP for a while but this is the first of four mini stories that all compile to a larger story. Lucky for both of us I know how I work and wrote something can can operate as an independent piece before the rest of the story is introduced.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and once again I'm so sorry I'm late..... and I REALLY tried to fix everything in here so it reads easy but I'm still not sure it runs smooth.
MWAH!

Rating: PG
Warnings: Cute kids being cute?

~o~

This is the story of a boy and the first time he kissed him, the first time he kissed him, the first time he more than kissed him, and the last first time he kissed anybody.

~o~

His blade sliced through the air and made a dull thud on the ground when Kurogane brought it down to strike his invisible enemy. The seven year old was currently in the middle of an intense battle between himself and the Bat Demons! He had also been playing the game for the last hour; it had started when a note from the king showed up on his porch reading, “Great Warrior Kurogane. HELP! A bad man has kidnapped my daughter, the princess, and you must find her! You're reward will be a great big feast of dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets with mac 'n' cheese and maybe a trip to the ice cream shop. Thank You, The King.” He found these notes every Saturday morning after breakfast along with a stopwatch that beeped when he was supposed to come home.

He had run to the backyard to the 'outdoor toys' toy chest he mom had made for him and grabbed his foam sword (he wasn't allowed to have a real one, he had asked) and ran to the woods beyond his open yard towards his tree house. On the way he had slayed several dragons and decoy minions but he was growing tired of his game. He never got to rescue the princess because she didn't exist. And why would he rescue he same princess every weekend? - it was her fault for getting caught all the time! And why did he always have to rescue a girl? When he did get to her she could never fight and she just got in the way. More than once he had accidentally cut her in half because she got scared of a bug or something and got in his way. When this happened he had to rewind his game so he didn't go home crying like the fist time. (His father still liked to tell that story to which he would respond with a dramatic sigh “I was six, okay Dad?”)

He was now approaching the last stretch of his journey to the princess. He usually found her somewhere around his tree house and then they would spend the remaining time in his tree house waiting for the magic call to come home. Today, however he heard the sound of crunching leaves in the forest and he turned ready to battle whatever creature had followed him on his journey. He was surprised to find a blond kid emerge from the bushes running full speed. Kurogane lowered his sword and was then greeted by the ground as the kid ran into him causing them both to topple to the forest floor. The kid looked up with eyes that Kurogane had seen once when he was chasing a rabbit once he caught the rabbit he had let it go because of that look. Later his dad told him the rabbit must have been scared. The child turned to look in the direction they had come and it was then that Kurogane noticed the long ponytail of blond hair and suddenly ideas of playing games with a real princess ran through Kurogane's mind all he had to do was save this girl for real and he would be a real warrior!

The girl looked back at him frantically and then turned again to look behind herself and Kurogane followed her worried gaze to the direction the blond had come from. Then he heard a voice calling out angrily like he had just gotten up from a nap and couldn't talk right just yet. “Fai! Come home now!”

The kid looked at Kurogane who was still strewn underneath the other wondering how a warrior such as himself could have wound up on the ground. “Is that a 'bad man'?” Kurogane questioned, he could only save princesses from bad men.

The girl shook her head up and down slowly and Kurogane got himself up, grabbed his sword and put it in his belt loops, and took the girl's hand and began to run towards his tree house. The tree house was set in a low tree and had a small, cylindrical crawl grid to the hatch in the floor. They both got on their bellies, shimmed up the grid and into the house. Kurogane closed and locked the hole in the floor as the new girl crawled over to the window on her jean covered knees and tentatively peeked out the curtains. Kurogane joined her just in time to see a tall man with greasy dirty blond hair walk past where they had just been. The man reminded Kurogane of an ogre. A few moments later he came back and continued back through the forest from where ever he had come from. The blond sighed and collapsed against the wall next to the window, “That was close.”

“The ogre almost got us,” Kurogane replied siting back on his knees.

The blond furrowed her brow in confusion for a moment before her faced stretched into a dramatic 'o'. “Oh. You mean him. He's not an ogre. Just my step-dad.”

Kurogane frowned, “Aren't dad's 'sposed to be nice?”

“Real dads, yeah. I don't think step-dads have to be though,” the girl replied pulling her knees to her chest.

“Oh.” They stayed silent a moment, “What's your name?” Kurogane asked.

The blond smiled for the first time and Kurogane felt like he had belly flopped into a pool but instead of pain he felt warm, “Fai! I just moved here! Whoa! How do you make your face go all red like that?”

“M-my face is not red! You idiot!” His face was burning, maybe this girl was a witch because, well, girls never made him belly flop without water.

“It is to! Even your ears!”

Kurogane rubbed his face and when he was done he looked up with a frown, “You're annoying.”

“No. I'm Fai. Who are you?” Fai was now sitting cross legged facing him.

“I'm Kurogane,” he mumbled.

Fai broke out into a big smile, “Kuro-hiney?” She began to laugh and Kurogane only frowned in response.

“Kurogane,” he corrected clearly but it was already too late: Fai was rolling on the ground laughing making her ponytail come undone. “If you don't stop laughing I'm not going to let you play with me!”

That seemed to shut the girl up. “What are you playing?” Fai asked with renewed interest and she picked the leaves from the floor out of her hair.

Kurogane stood and took his foam sword out of his belt loop and thrust it toward the ceiling. “I'm a warrior and I have to rescue the princess! You can be the princess if you want,” he added as he brought his sword down.

This time Fai scowled “Why do I have to be the princess? I don't wanna.”

“But you have long hair,” Kurogane rationalized.

“So! That doesn't mean I have to be the princess.”

Kurogane looked down at Fai, “But I want to save you.”

Fai propped her head up in her hands, “What if I'm your friend instead and you come to rescue me but I already got out of the castle and now we're going to fight the ogre!”

The other smiled, “That sounds really cool! But if we're going to be fighting together what are you going to be?”

“What do you mean?”

The child warrior sighed loudly, obviously this kid didn't get out much. “Well you can't just be my friend. You have to have a way to fight.”

Fai thought a moment, “Well I could use a sword too.”

“You can't do that. I'm already a warrior you have to be something else.”

She thought again, “Maybe I could be a magician?”

Kurogane furrowed his brow, “What's a 'magician' going to do?”

“Well I could shoot fire from my hands and ice too!”

“Wow! That's really cool! Okay,” Kurogane looked out the window, “You go hide behind that bush and then we'll bump into each other and fight the Bat Demons!” Kurogane thrust his fist in the air for emphasis.

Fai frowned, “The what?”

Kurogane sighed and pinched between his eyes like his dad did when he asked something stupid (Like if he could jump out the window with his bed sheet and use it as a parachute. They had nailed his window shut after that.) “Just go with it, idiot.”

They played in the woods for another hour making comical 'wwwsh' and' kerkgh' noises as they battled back to back and Kurogane didn't slice her in half once! - but the stopwatch went off and they paused mid-battle with cannibal dwarfs to stare at each other. Kurogane sheathed his weapon. “Are you 'sposed to go home now?” Fai asked tucking some stray hair behind her ear.

“Yeah,” Kurogane replied disappointed. This was the first time he had ever gotten to play with another kid outside of school. He lived way on the outskirts of town and had to be driven to the bus stop each morning because it was so far. “You could come with me! The king told my dad to make dinosaur nuggets and mac 'n' cheese. And my sister isn't home, she's a witch.”

Fai's head popped up and he smiled as he ran up and took Kurogane's hand. “Your dad knows the king?!”

Kurogane's face suddenly felt hot again, “Yeah.”

“Well what are we waiting for then?” And Fai tugged them in the direction of Kurogane's house.

Kurogane's father was leaning on the porch railing by the stairs when the two children emerged from the trees. “I see my valiant son has brought back another warrior with him!”

The two raced each other the rest of the way to the house, “Fai's not a warrior. Fai's a magician.”

“Oh is that so?” Kurogane's father mused as he leaned down to get a better look at the boy his son had brought home with him. “You wouldn't happen to live in the new castle down the road would you?”

Fai smiled, “It's not a castle. It's just a house.”

“Fai's not a princess either, even if she does have long hair.” Kurogane chimed in.

“Wait I'm not a-”

Kurogane looked shyly at Fai, “I- I um like your hair.”

Fai blushed, “Thank you.”

Torihiro smirked down at the blond boy his son had dragged in, “Well my house isn't a castle either but we are about to have a feast. What do you say? Wanna join us?”

“Yeah! And after will you take us to get ice cream?” Kurogane asked in earnest looking up at his father.

He couldn't help but smile at his son. “I don't know. I think I might have to talk to Fai's parents first. We could take him home after we eat though. We'll get in the truck go to his house and if his parents say it's okay we'll all go into town and get ice cream.”

“No! It's fine. I'll just walk home.”

Kurogane came up and slapped Fai on the back, “Don't worry about it! My dad said he'll take you home and he will!”

Fai smiled tentatively at Torihiro's son and he couldn't help but smirk at the two boys. “Okay.” Fai replied with that same small tentative smile.

The other boy took Fai's hand and began to drag him inside, “C' mon! I'll show you my dinosaur collection, but I'm not sure if you'll like that kind of stuff.”

“Wait, Kurogane-,” Torihiro sighed. It was to late his son had already taken his new friend inside and he couldn't help but think that, perhaps, his son was misinformed.

“Hey dad,” Torihiro turned to see his daughter, Yukko off to the side of the porch. Since when had she even been there? “Is it just me or does Kurogane seem to think his new friend is a girl?”

“He'll figure it out eventually.”

~o~

Saturday had come again and Kurogane had already found the note from the king, this time it had been in the laundry room, but Fai was running late. Since Fai had moved in during the early spring they had ritualistically played together every Saturday on the condition that Kurogane didn't go get Fai. He had went there one Saturday when Fai was running particularly late and Fai had been so mad that she had sent Kurogane home. So he had learned to stay at his house and wait for his best friend.

About a half hour later Fai came sprinting from the woods, “Sorry I'm late!” Fai yelled waving a hand over her head.

Kurogane sprung up from the porch irritated and ran to meet Fai in the middle of the yard. “You're late! Now we don't have as much time to play! And we're at the most important part of the game too!”

“And which part is that?” Fai retorted slightly peeved that Kurogane was slightly peeved.

The boy crossed his arms about his chest, “We're at the point where the Bat King kidnapped and poisoned the wizard.” Fai always forgot where they were when they played.

“Oh! Well I'm sorry I'm late. Let's go okay?”

The two of them ran off into the woods together to start where they had ended last Saturday. This really was the most exciting part of their game so far, it was times like these he wished Fai could play during the week. He had had to wait and entire week before they could continue. They took their places and then realized they couldn't exactly remember how it had happened and started from the part where the Bat King kidnapped Fai and dragged her off. Fai yelled for Kurogane but he couldn't save Fai in time and the girl was whisked away through the portal to the evil King's castle. Kurogane ran around for a while slashing at trees and invisible henchmen in his valiant fight to the castle. Fai picked flowers in the clearing since there was nothing to do while he wasn't in the part. After a while they both decided it was about time Kurogane arrived at the castle and Fai laid down in the tree house which was actually the dungeon where he was supposed to be, turned towards the ceiling and shut his eyes.

Kurogane rushed in to the dungeon threw his sword aside in his panic and collapsed to his knees dramatically beside his friend. He shook Fai and he could tell Fai was trying not to smile as he did. “Fai you need to be serious!”

Fai giggled in response before responding, “Okay, okay.” She swallowed her smile and did a very god job of 'looking dead but not being dead.'

He hated it when Fai smiled an he loved it for the very same reason: it made his face burn. Fai's smile made his face burn even now. The blond looked like she was seeping beneath Kurogane and he couldn't help but wonder if his parents' faces burned like this when they kissed him when he was asleep or being tucked in. He supposed he could find out. It would be like tucking Fai into bed but then the thought struck him that when his mom kissed his dad good night she did so on his lips. In response to this new thought Kurogane changed the direction of his mouth and firmly planted his lips on Fai's.

His face felt like the sun but instead of embarrassed he felt elated though he couldn't understand why. Then he felt embarrassed when Fai shoved him backwards, “What are you doing?” the blond demanded angrily.

Kurogane struggled to find words seeing as he suddenly felt accused. “I-I.... It's not my fault! You're the princess!”

“I'm the princess?” Fai yelled in retaliation as she scrambled to her feet wiping her lips.

Kurogane stood too and threw his hands from himself, “Yeah! Because you're a girl!”

The blond looked at him indignantly, “I'm not a girl!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“But you have long hair!”

Fai balled his hands into fists, “So that doesn't matter! I'm a boy! And boys don't kiss boys! I'm going home.”

Kurogane, too, went home. He slammed the door to the back yard, then the door to his room, and he flopped on his bed landing roughly on a toy dinosaur that he threw at the wall. Fai was a boy? He didn't even know! And now he might never see him again. Fai was his only friend really. At school people stayed away from him not because he was mean but because he was foreign. All the children at school had grown up in the same town able to walk to each other houses with no problem but he was isolated from them and that reflected at school.

Yet, even in all this he felt confused. Fai was a boy and he had kissed a boy but he didn't feel grossed out. Wasn't he supposed to be grossed out? Instead he felt he liked Fai even more. Like Fai now met some qualification he didn't know he had wanted the other boy to meet. He was supposed to save and kiss princesses not princes. Right?

There was a knock at his door and then it was opening. He could tell it was his dad by the way the footsteps sounded. “Did you and Fai have a fight?”

“Dad did you know Fai's a boy?” Kurogane asked he didn't mean to avoid his father's question his was just more important.

Torihiro raised an eyebrow, “Yes, yes I did.”

Kurogane sat up as quick as lightning, “And you didn't tell me?”

“I honestly didn't think it would take you so long to figure it out,” his father responded with an awkward rub of his neck.

And with that Kurogane flopped down on his bed again. “I must be an idiot.”

“Is Fai being a boy a problem?”

Kurogane turned his head so he wouldn't suffocate, “No. Just...” His small word hung between them for a moment. How could he ask his dad if it was possible for boys to like like boys? Would his dad be mad at him? What about his mother and sister? “What if a warrior doesn't wanna save the princess? What if he just wants to ride around and battle with a prince?”

Torihiro blinked at his son an didn't respond for a moment and in that moment Kurogane thought his dad might be mad. But his father wasn't and instead he responded, “Well, the warrior better stop wasting his time saving princesses then.”

Kurogane turned his head back into his pillow and growled and his dad patted his back firmly to comfort him. “Everybody is dumb.”

“Yeah? Wait until you're and adult.”

There was a knock at the door, frantic and loud and unrelenting. “C' mon. Let's go get that and then I'll let you help me make lunch.”

While Kurogane didn't want to do much, he also didn't want to mope alone. What he wanted to do was sit on the couch and 'not' cuddle with his father but he couldn't do that up here so he relented and followed his father downstairs to the back door where they found the knock coming from. His father opened the door and found Fai standing there breathing heavily, fists balled at his sides, and hair cut so unevenly that the oldest sucked in a breath and tried not to laugh and Kurogane felt like he had been punched in the stomach.

Fai walked past Torihiro and right up to Kurogane, thrusting a finger in his face. “I don't have long hair anymore so you better not think I'm a girl!” He retracted his finger and looked at the ground, Kurogane could see the tips of Fai's ears turning pink. Fai looked up again, “And if you do that again I'll-I'll never talk to you again! EVER!”

“O-okay,” Kurogane sputtered.

Part I

Interlude I

Part II

Interlude II

Part III

Interlude III

Conclusion